Chili Piper Announces All Employees Can Now Pick Their Own Titles

Brooklyn, New York, April 1, 2021 /Press Release/ — Chili Piper, the leader in Meeting Lifecycle Automation, has announced that all of their employees can now pick their own titles.

This continues a recent display of innovation that aligns the Brooklyn-based sales tech company with other exemplary paragons of innovation like Elon Musk, the world’s wealthiest person. In what was perhaps the inspiration for Chili Piper, Mr. Musk now holds the self-anointed moniker, “Elon, the ‘TechnoKing’ of Tesla.”

Nicolas Vandenberghe, Chili Piper’s CEO, had this to say when contacted, “I see that you just referred to me as the CEO . . . mere moments ago. Please note that our company-wide nomenclature has changed. You can refer to me as ‘Toilet-Piper’ from now on, because I formerly managed all aspects of this company. The ‘full plumbing,’ so to speak. I have worked hard to get where I am and would appreciate it if you used my proper title (Toilet-Piper) when addressing me, thank you.”

The Hypergrowth SaaS startup’s leader and Toilet Piper went on to state that there was one key rule Chili Piper employees needed to abide by when choosing their new titles. The titles must include the word “Piper.”

“I’m the optimistic one around here, though we are generally a pretty lively group,” said one member of the Chili Piper team. “You can refer to me as ‘Piper-Dreamer’ from now on.”

A member of the Chili Piper talent staff took a different route. “I’ve changed my title to CEO & Piper,” said Crosby Lupton. “This seemed like a great chance for me to advance professionally. When Nicolas told me I could choose my title, I knew that it was an opportunity for me to have him, to have everyone, report to me.

Now, I’m in charge -- and we are making a few changes around here.

  1. Required jorts on Thursdays; 
  2. Required tutus on Tuesdays; 
  3. 10 cents on every dollar of profit now goes to an New Zealand possum preservation fund; and
  4. All PR flows through me.”

Elon Musk had this to say about these recent changes, “Seems unorthodox, but you can’t really argue with those growth numbers. This is a company to watch.” After our conversation with Crosby, we were unable to reach anyone else from Chili Piper who was willing to speak on record. 

Instead, we received this email:

Chili Piper is the most advanced scheduling software for B2B revenue teams to Make Meetings Happen™. Its products help demand generation teams convert more leads into attended meetings, sales teams book more demos faster, and customer success teams delight their customers. Companies like Airbnb, Twilio, Forrester, Spotify, and Gong use Chili Piper to double their inbound conversion rates, eliminate manual lead routing, and streamline critical processes around meetings. Chili Piper has 96 employees in 81 cities in 20 countries and has been spicing things up since 2016.

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